I wasn’t very far into the whole marriage thing until I had a sad, sad realization! My husband was not the perfect spiritual leader after all! He did not rise while it was still dark-thirty and read his Bible and intercede on his knees for me, his lovely bride. In fact, he rather disliked mornings altogether. Where was this spiritual leader that I thought would spoon-feed me spiritual truths every day? Things weren’t turning out at all the way I had expected.

I began devouring books on marriage and desperately tried to get insight on this predicament that I found myself in. In my mind, I was much more spiritual than my husband and I created quite an arrogant view of myself in the process.

One evening, after he came home from work, he was telling me about his day, running a bulldozer, and having lots of time to think. He shared details about things God was showing him. He also shared about how he was so burdened for someone and decided to use his alone time to pray for them.

I was smitten! Here I was, all high and mighty, going through the motions every day of reading my Bible and praying, but he was the one having the real relationship with Jesus!

I’ve learned a lot of things about marriage and myself and God in the past 17.5 years.(Lucky for Leon!) I have lowered a lot of my expectations and discovered that God and the things of God rarely fit into a neat and tidy box or formula.

When we put our husband in the place of God, expecting him to lead us and guide us and even feed us spiritually, we will be disappointed. That is not a role for a human being to fill. We must go to God for our strength and guidance.

My relationship with my husband has been one of the most powerful things God has used to grow me up spiritually. But when I look to my husband to fill the place of God in my heart, we have trouble with a capital T. Only God can change my heart and fill me with peace and joy and make me the person He wants me to be.

My husband often says, “When our vertical relationship {with God} is thriving, so will our horizontal relationships {with people}.”

Look to Jesus, not a human being, to give you what you need..

Wanda Stutzman