THE NECESSARY NO

I have a "yes" problem. 

As a recovering approval addict, "no" is a hard word for me to say, and even on the times when I do say no, I feel like I need to give great detailed explanantions that are mostly designed to make me feel better about disappointing someone. 

I'm starting to realize that if someone is unhappy with my decision, no amount of explanation is going to make them happy and they'll probably just take my words and beat me with them.

One of the best pieces of business advice I've ever received is, "the most important customer is the one you say no to." If a business owner says yes to every demand, he will find himself out of business because, in general, people like to get goods and services without paying for them and will constantly push towards that goal. If you can't say "no" you'll end up working for nothing.

The same is true in church life, family life, and personal lives. We have to say "no" to someone. We'd better have a plan for who will hear our "no" or we'll be wore out trying to make everyone like us.

Daniel Henderson says that, "the power of the no is in the greater yes" In other words the times we choose "no" need to be driven by the things we want to say "yes" to. Our values need to inform our choices to say yes or no. If we don't have a plan based on our values we'll say yes and no to all the wrong things. This can keep us from saying "no" to things that we should be saying "yes" to.

So look around your life. How many of your current frustrations come out of saying yes to the wrong people and activities. Take a deep breath and try saying "no". It's liberating and you should enjoy the freedom it can bring.

Floyd Yutzy